this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize