she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
