you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
