They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize