just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
