you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
