I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
