You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
