Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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