He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize