im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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