btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
