Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
