I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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