How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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