Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
