i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
