i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
