hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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