walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
