She's JV to your varsity
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
