Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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