David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize