that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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