This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
