did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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