I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
