Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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