1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
