i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We need to get me chipped asap
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
