Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have aggressive nipples.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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