I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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