He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
