I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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