Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
