you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
