I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So many bounce houses so little time
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
