My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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