Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
