She announced her abortion via fbk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you had me at cake vodka
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
