Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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