Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
