ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
