Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
