i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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