So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
