if only i could text you this smell
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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