i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this boner is exhausting
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
