I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize