Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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