I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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