ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize