why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You need Xanax blowdarts
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize