i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
