people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
