all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
