Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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