Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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