You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize