Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
