these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
