This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
