Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
